ITEM 1 - En route to Kippa Ring.
So there I was, cruise control on at 90km/hr heading for a meeting about being presentable, approachable and all that jazz when looking for work in the construction industry. And I'm in the left hand lane as required, until I find myself approaching another car in the same lane doing approximately 85km/hr. I indicate, go right, and continue all without increasing my speed. As I continue to over take, at this point my nose has reached the rear bumper of the aforementioned vehicle, I see a flash and think of cops, but I am assured it's not when I see a Champagne coloured car come around the bend. I continue, my rear doors now level with the rear bumper. I look up to check the approaching vehicle and it is less than 30m behind me, I've now hit the straight approaching the bridge to Redcliffe, and am confident to maintain direction and watch this ar$ehole speed more up to my end. I am now level with the vehicle still maintaining speed and this wank#r has come within 2m of my car and decides then to put on his brakes. His car starts to wobble and he is that close to me I can see his face!
Anywho, I've eventually stopped screaming profanities as I've gotten in front of the first car, flipped this guy the bird, and in return he's done so back. WTF for, I have NO IDEA as clearly he f'd up. He gets in front of me and proceeds to wave at me from the rear vision mirror (because that's what morons do). We cross the bridge... I go left onto Elizabeth Ave, he has gone right AND WAS LOOKING FOR ME... this was made clear when he thought to wave at me as I drove on by, so this time I got the window down and screamed out to "GO F YOURSELF YOU F'n %^&*" and flipped out the bird once more. I've got his rego number, car make model colour and engine size, plus a vague description of this wannabe fast n furious hero.
ITEM 2 - En route to Golden Beach
The long and short of it: Heading towards Golden Beach for my mates cousin's 16yo's bday beach party. Waiting at a set of lights to change, a beautiful day. Lights go green and I'm off pumping some awesome music, and have noticed a car wanting to merge ahead at a "Turn Left with Caution" sign thingo. The Green car noticed I was in the left lane, but decided to enter the main road - so I merge over to the right speeding up - but did not exceed the limit! - to get ahead of traffic behind me (I was in the first line of traffic...).
HOWEVER... the blue car was too impatient to wait for green car to leave and decides to CUT ACROSS the mini-island over to the right hand lane and so decisively I switch gears from 4th to 2nd and brake like no mans business and missed blue cars ar$e between 1-2m and blared the horn like I thought necessary. It is important to note that they were both in 4WDs AND both male drivers. Greeny was a P Plater, Bluey was a family with small kids in the back. I'm the awesome black square screaming profanities with a passenger crawling up the interior of my car in the front and 2yo asleep in the back....
EDIT:
Ok, as requested by Adrian, I shall explore my first prang.
On a typical Friday afternoon, I was headed to a mates place down at Sunnnybank. Took a detour through Dan Murphy's with friend in passenger seat getting ready for a quite night in. As I've gone to exit down a driveway and turn, I've had to stop for a young driver wanting to come across (see Blue car). As she's come to a complete stop, I thought maybe it's because traffic was approaching, but no, she baulked at coming over and I'm freaking out now because traffic has started to come towards me from the lights down the way on my right. With my nose sticking out a fair way, and about 2 seconds to figure a way to go, I kicked into reverse, swung the arm over the passenger seat and started going back. As I've stopped, BEEP - BANG. And hence, profanities all over the shop. Now, the damage is nothing to be concerned about, I was more annoyed at the psycho woman that nearly broke my window asking me if I realised "that I just hit her" - which is debatable. My friend is chucking a psycho back at this woman as my car's nose is still on the road being missed by mere inches from on coming traffic and is panicking for dear life as neither of us were willing to die for this woman.
I've gotten out of the car after 5 minutes of abuse, gone over and checked her car, and upset her even more when her white diahatsu showed no real damage. When she had to point it out with my face about 4 inches away from her bumper, to which I replied "Oh, is that all..." didn't make the situation any better. No scratches, nothing, just as if someone had pressed in with their palm. Anywho, she was going berko at me, and I'm still telling her that I need to get my car off the road before it gets totalled, my mate is swearing, gave her my details and the b!tch took off without giving me her info. So I tailed her and got her rego. But, no calls from insurance co, so that's good for me!
Thanks for your attention, will be sure to update on future events if they happen.
THE END... for now.
